idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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