Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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