I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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