why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
