i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Hippo gnu deer
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize