Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
