ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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