She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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