Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
