No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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