he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
