I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
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She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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