Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
