that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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