I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just want to make out with him forever
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
