But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
