god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
