never play flip cup with pint glasses
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
