just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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