She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
