i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
