All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize