She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
