addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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