talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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