even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
