so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
