I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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