Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you inspire me to be a worse person
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize