Don't make out with my wife yet
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
