She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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