If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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