fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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