do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You smell like stripper and shame
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
