Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
