i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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