i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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