We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize