it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
