I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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