Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
