She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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