dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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