I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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