Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize