Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
