And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
