I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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