Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
