he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
