sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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