He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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