The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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