Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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