I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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