do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
