no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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