What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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