So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
