Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
