ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
