Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
