So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
