Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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